Bubble Baths

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My kids love having Nana take over, even if it means that Mom and Dad are going out. My parents came over to babysit earlier this month so that Dan and I could celebrate our sixth wedding anniversary. As we said goodbye to our kids, they barely stopped playing with their grandparents long enough to say goodbye, and they flat out refused to give hugs and kisses. They were simply having too much fun.

After a fun day of cleaning (I have no idea how my mother manages to be so efficient at cleaning my house in such a short time, other than she somehow convinced my kids to help her) and playing and eating ice cream cones, Mom asked the boys if they wanted a bath.

Of course, as with everything that Nana suggests, they were gung-ho.

“Can it be a colour bath?” asked Cameron, referring to the tablets of colour that we usually add to the bath water.

“Sure!” replied Nana.

“Can we have a colour BUBBLE BATH?” pushed Cameron.

“Of course!” said Nana.

“But…” added Cameron in a concerned voice. “How will we get clean?”

Kandoo Bubble Bath Review | Mommy-Miracles.com

(This is the point where I have to explain myself due to the strange ideas my kids have in their heads).

My kids ask me for bubble baths constantly, especially after the Kandoo products came to our house and we tried the bubble bath for the first time. As the big, mean Mommy that I am, I often replied with a “No” explaining how incredibly hard it is to rinse the soap out of their hair when the bath is full of bubbles. Apparently they took that to mean they wouldn’t get clean in a bubble bath.

Upon explaining this to my Mother, she schooled me on proper Nana-led bath procedures, which includes rinsing them with fresh water from the tap. “And how does Gavin react to that?” I asked. “Well, he did scream for a few minutes” replied Mom, as if this was only a minor inconvenience.

I’m not an awesome grandmother yet so I’m not at the stage where I make life more difficult for myself on purpose. Still, there is a magic to bubble baths, one I remember fondly from my own childhood. (And, I think if I remember correctly, I definitely got more bubble baths while at my own Nana’s house). So every once in a while, when I’m feeling particularly nice (and their hair can probably go without being washed), I let the kids play in sudsy, bubbly bathwater.

Kandoo Bubble Bath Review | Mommy-Miracles.com

I insist on only using hypoallergenic products on my kids, especially when those products are going to be interacting with their skin. My kids have broken out in hives more often than I can figure out the reason why, so I am always playing it safe with products. In fact, most “additives” that I have added to baths in the past are soothing in nature to heal dry and reactive skin. But I feel totally at ease using Kandoo Bubble Bath which is not only hypoallergenic, it is specially formulated for kids with sensitive skin. The bubble bath does not contain sulfates, parabens, phthalates or other harsh chemicals but instead it contains natural shea butter and coca butter to prevent dry skin.

Needless to say, the kids are huge fans of bubble baths, and I think I managed to convince them that even Mommy can get them clean with a bath full of suds.

Kandoo Detangler Review

I’m a Kandoo Ambassador and will be reviewing a product a month for the next few months. Expect to see some awesome giveaways too. In return for this ambassadorship, I was provided with product and a few gift cards. Be sure to visit www.kandookids.ca for great tips and playful solutions.

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Marriage is More Than A Wedding

Guest Post on Mommy Miracles

It’s safe to say that this series has been great! So many sweet and funny posts touching on the love aspects of marriage. They’ve covered what I thought I’d talk about so I’m going a different route, a ranty route.


 

Writing Vows

I’ve been lucky in marriage. Why? Because I got married young. And you know what weddings are like when you’re in your early 20s? They are a lot of things but definitely not as elaborate as they are now, in my 30s. I was the first of my friends to get married and so I really didn’t know what I was doing. All I knew was that I wanted to get my family and his family together in one place and have a big party. And we did. Did I hire a wedding planner? A what? Exactly.

Writing Vows | Marriage is More Than a Wedding | Kamerine Gardam

For years after I got married I worked for my mom at a wedding show. For years I witnessed brides-to-be coming to the show with a girlfriend or their mom, excited to find out about dresses and photographers and honeymoon destinations. I witnessed bridezillas storming around, leaving trail of stunned and bewildered bystanders in their wake. I learned about wedding planners, and all about the details that go into the big day, wondering how I ever got along without the millions of things that brides care about. People spend so much on their weddings it blows my mind.

I want to shake people by the shoulders and tell them to save their money. No one is going to remember what flowers you chose or what earrings you wore. Your wedding may be the start to your marriage, but what really deserves attention (and your time and money and effort), is your relationship. Go for the grocery store flowers (I did!) and spend a bit more on your honeymoon where you have a chance to really connect with your partner.

Marriage is More Than a Wedding | Kamerine Gardam

‘But I do connect with my partner’, you cry. You do. You’re in love. You’re getting married. Guess what? That lusty, honeymoon phase doesn’t last long. Your wedding will soon be a thing you think of every now and then, with pictures you pull out once a year, and a video you never watch. I don’t think it’s possible to live with someone, to deal with bills and chores and the every day things that have to get done, and keep that lusty spark alive. And once you add kids to the mix, all bets are off.

It’s okay to have bad days, to have weeks where you don’t connect with your partner. It’s okay to not live happily ever after every day. And it’s okay to admit it, to seek help.

I’m well out of the honeymoon phase and the lusty spark is a thing of the past, but I can tell you that I’m lucky. Somehow, at the age of 20 I met the perfect person for me. And when we got married at 22 and 23, without really knowing what we were doing or what we were getting in to, we jumped and never looked back. I don’t regret my wedding for one second, grocery store flowers and all, and hardly any day of my marriage is perfect, but I got my fairy tale ending.

Writing Vows

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A Modern Family Romance Part Two

Guest Post on Mommy Miracles

Writing Vows

I wasn’t sure about the house.  It was close to the beach, it had a second floor wrap around porch that lent a great view of the ocean.  It had a ground level bedroom for guests.  But there were faults.  The rooms were small and musty and paneled with dark wood.  The kitchen wasn’t the least bit modern.  There was no dishwasher.  The clothing dryer was old.  Would the landlord call someone to fix it if it broke down?  I didn’t have much time to find a place to live, and rentals were sparse on our island, affordable rentals were more so.  I felt compelled to jump on anything that seemed borderline satisfactory.  I was feeling hasty but not so much that I didn’t value a second set of eyes.

I called B.

B. came down that night with pizza.  He met the kids and me at the store.  We agreed he’d follow me in his car to the rental house and without conversation, the children hopped into the back seat of his pick up.

They loved riding in his car.

B. walked through the rental house slowly and thoughtfully, checking switches and opening cabinets and running his hands up and down walls.  He walked around the perimeter of the yard and pointed to the grass in the back.

“It hasn’t been mowed in a while,” he said.

“I’ll have to find someone to take care of it for me,” I replied.  The owner of the house mentioned that lawn upkeep was the tenant’s responsibility.

We poked and prodded and chatted and continued the discussion about the house that night over pizza.

Later, when I tucked the kids to bed, my son said to me, “Mom, when you and B. get married, he can mow that lawn for you.”

“B and I can’t get married,” I replied.

Which left my son, who is crazy for B., in astonishment.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m still married to your father.”

For this, he sat up in bed.  “Well then why don’t you still live with him?”

Thus began my “eight year old friendly” version of why I’m still legally married to a man that I left two years ago.

In the State of New Jersey, where I lived when I separated from S, you don’t have to have a separation for any amount of time before filing for divorce.  S. and I could have filed for divorce on the very day that we decided we no longer wanted to be married.  But at that time, for me, there was a mighty large line between no longer being married and getting divorced.   I had other things on my mind, like figuring out how to take care of my children without a spouse, reconfiguring finances, and contemplating the changes I would need to make in order to give my children a good life as a single mother.  Not to mention, I was angry at my estranged husband, and I knew I was angry,  I was so angry at him for so many things that had I gone to court for a divorce two years ago, I would have fought hard and scrappy.

I would have been spiteful.

I would have “gone for the jugular” to try to right what I saw as being a litany of wrongs he had performed against me.

So I put the divorce on the shelf.

Which means I’m still married.  Legally, anyway.

Will S. and I ever live as husband and wife again?  No.  However, we do share three children together, and that in itself means that we will always, despite our very separate lives, be a family.

Will we one day put a legal end to our marriage?  Probably.  But I doubt it will be the mud slinging fest that it might have been for me two years ago.  There are things I could not accept about our marriage when we lived under the same roof, and for the most part, they are the same things that I have difficulty accepting now.  However, my anger has subsided.  And I know that a large settlement through the court or a different division of assets will never, in itself, right the wrongs I felt.

In the meantime, there’s B. who won’t be able to become my husband so long as S. is still my husband.  But even without the title of “husband,” he fills my life with so many good things.

I didn’t take that rental house that B. looked at me that night.  I found another house, much more suitable, and modern for me and the children.  Like the other house, yard maintenance is the tenant’s responsibility.

Even though we’re not married, B. does, in fact, mow my lawn for me.

A Modern Family Romance | Writing Vows | Ilene Evans

Writing Vows

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