I am finding myself using the term “baby” quite often. This should be understandable considering I am pregnant and have absolutely no names picked out for my unborn child. But despite calling the little one growing inside of me “our baby”, I am actually using the term more and more when talking to my ever-growing toddler.
Despite the fact that each day, each minute, Cameron is leaving babyhood behind, I feel the need to emphasize the fact to both myself and him that he is still my baby… That he will always be my baby… Even if another baby is added to the equation.
The boy whose idea of playing means jumping on me with arms open wide to give me giant hugs.
The boy who ends every night with “Nigh-nigh Mama”.
The boy who so desperately wants to spend time with his parents that he interrupts whatever else we are doing to entice play-time or snuggle-time.
The boy with his own personality, ideas, opinions, and plans. The boy who acts less and less like a baby each second.
He is still my baby.
And yet, I have never been one to romanticize the past. I am not, at all, trying to limit my son from being who he is, today. Even the completely non-baby, independent parts about him. I want to celebrate all of that, every inch grown, every milestone hit, every step away from being that little baby that he once was.
Calling him my baby is not about keeping him small and dependant. It is about reminding him that he is still mine. As my stomach grows and that spot on my lap that he likes to sit gets smaller and smaller, as Mama is able to pick him up less and less and requires more and more downtime, and even once Mama has to go to the hospital for a while and comes home with a new little baby, Cameron is still, and will always be my baby. Reminding him of that, using that word is more important than anything right now. I want him to realize that my love for him will never diminish and that he will never be replaced by another baby.
And I promise to stop calling him my baby when he is old enough to be embarrassed by it. I promise. With fingers only partially crossed.
I have decided to try my hand at another photo project this year. Last year, my photo-a-day project failed miserably in February when my camera broke. I realize that I will never be able to keep up something like that again this year. But the idea of a once-a-week photo project sounds reasonable enough…
I have decided to take on a 52 Faces project which I am calling Faces of a Family. In reality it will be more like 208 faces because each week I want to include one image of each member of my family. From those four pictures, I will choose one to inspire writing.
Wish me luck and hang around for the journey. Here we go!