To maintain the utmost discretion, the list below is a compilation of experiences that friends have shared with me, along with some of my own experiences.
I have a very hard time remembering past moves. I vaguely remember pulling up to the front of residence in first year university to unload enough stuff to fill half of a room (which is still a surprising amount of stuff.) I probably did a very similar thing in second year when I moved into a shared house after a summer at home. I don’t even remember moving to Halifax in the fall of my third year, and I only very slightly possibly remember moving into the basement apartment that I lived in for my fourth year. Or maybe what I am remembering is when we moved out of that place? One of those times, my then-boyfriend-now-husband and I decided we could do the move ALL BY OURSELVES and we ended up unloading a moving van at 4am. I am not sure if I have ever been so close to hell in my entire life.
When my husband and I moved out of the swanky downtown apartment that was our first ever real home together and into our home for the past four years, a condo on the Darkside of town, I remember that we had help. I think. I have images of my uncle and my Dad carrying a bed out of the parking garage and into the waiting truck, already half-filled with a rocking chair from my childhood and a bedroom set from the home of my recently deceased grandparents. I remember sitting on my bedroom floor packing a box and I remember vacuuming that same floor right before shutting off the lights and closing the door for the last time. Apparently we moved during a hurricane, though in my memories, the sky is full of white fluffy clouds.
And apparently, I was pregnant.
I cannot imagine moving while pregnant. The idea of it sounds absolutely horrific. I would never ever do it.
Except I did. I remember finding out I was pregnant in swanky-downtown-apartment and I know we brought Cameron home to new-Darkside-condo. The math is clear: I moved while pregnant. But I honestly don’t remember that.
I definitely repress my worst memories.
I would never recommend moving while pregnant. In fact, I would rarely recommend moving at all, but if you have to, make sure to do it during those times when you absolutely will not be pregnant. (And don’t do it with a newborn either).
Luckily, if you’re not pregnant before you start house hunting, you likely won’t get pregnant in the process. From my experience (and the experience of some friends of mine), moving is an excellent and foolproof form of birth control. They say abstinence is the only thing that is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy, but I’d also like to suggest that moving is a respectable rival.
5 Reasons Why Moving is Effective Birth Control:
1. Moving is Stressful
Did you know that stress can lead to irregular periods? Some women are like clocks. Everything happens on a very regimented schedule. And other women stop breastfeeding, change their medication, and start moving right around the same time. Hormones get all out of whack, periods strike (for what may actually be the first time post-baby) and they last for days. Weeks. MONTHS! Aint nobody feelin’ sexy in this situation.
2. Moving is Emotional
Even before you start fighting about whether you should be throwing out that old pregnancy test or whether there is enough money in the bank account to actually pay the down payment, house hunting can be soul crushing. You walk into a house and see your life there only to find out that your partner hates it. All of a sudden the man that you married becomes the monster who murdered your dreams. This isn’t Beauty and the Beast. You can’t cross-breed with a monster. Obviously.
That house I fell in love with that we didn’t buy.
3. Moving is Dangerous
Couches. Boxes full of books. Beds. Agreeing to move is pretty much akin to welcoming injury. And when a certain husband sprains his back from picking up
an empty box a sofa, all those exciting plans of a Last Hoorah in the old house are immediately quashed.
4. Moving is Awkward
Imagine this: You’re packing up the bedroom. You open the super secret special drawer full of supplies and… um… stuff. You discretely pack it in a box, tape it up, and pick up the Sharpie. That is when you realize that your Uncle is helping you move. So is your Dad. And your pastor. And your former pastor. And your Dad is a pastor too. So you write “Bibles” on the box to avoid any embarrassment. Of course, when you fully move in, the only box you can find with that label actually has bibles in it. The box you were really looking for will not be found for three months. Coincidentally, that’s how long it will take you to christen your new house.
5. Moving is a Family Affair
Sometimes it isn’t possible to move directly from your old home into the new one and when that happens, kindhearted family members will often step in to offer you their house to crash in between moves. While you may have dreamed about shacking up with a lover in your childhood canopy bed when you were 16, it somehow loses its appeal when you’re fully grown and you’ve moved back under your parent’s roof.
Other times, moving can be so traumatic for your child that he stops sleeping through the night and insists on sleeping in Mommy and Daddy’s bed. And by that I mean, he insists on sleeping on top of Mommy. God forbid Daddy try to touch her too.
So, assuming you can make it to the beginning of your house hunting journey not pregnant, you should remain pregnancy-free until you’re moved in and at least mostly unpacked.
(Or maybe, ignore all of this and remember that intimacy when it is hard is actually probably when you and your spouse need it the most.)
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